Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Whew...

What a crazy month this has been! I am a little ashamed that I have not posted anything for over a month. But, to be perfectly honest, things have been pretty chaotic for me. I have sat down countless times in the last month, but have never been able to bring myself to post anything. Every time I sit down, I am filled with mixed emotions- I feel overwhelmed, angry, sad, disappointed, stupid. And so I just get up and walk away. But now the time has finally come for me to let it all out, and get back on track with blogging.

Here is what's been happening in the last month. It's a long, boring story, but it's mine.

When we got home from San Diego, (on Sunday) I was crazy busy trying to unpack and get everything cleaned and reorganized. Things were going pretty well, I was able to make pretty significant progress and I was thankfully able to blog our entire trip. The following Saturday, Cahl's mom came to town to visit and she stayed until the next Wednesday morning. It was nice that she came, and the boys were very happy to see her, but we were getting ready to leave for Salmon the day after she left- Thursday. Now, normally I am crazy busy the week leading up to our Salmon trip every year. I am a huge planner, and since this is our one big vacation that we take every year, the planning is pretty extensive for me. I have to plan and pack for 6 people for 10 days. And since this year we took a motor home to Salmon, I also had to plan and pack food and other necessary items for that. I also normally clean my house like crazy before we go on any trips, I HATE coming home to a dirty house. There is always so much to do when you get home anyway, the last thing I want to do is have to clean my house on top of everything else. So anyway, because of our busy schedule and company, I wasn't able to clean the house like I would have liked. And I only had Wednesday to clean the motor home, pack the motor home, do all the shopping, pack for 6 people, and get everything completely ready to go super early Thursday morning. I was very overwhelmed to say the least! But, not to worry, we made it to Salmon Thursday evening with no problems. Traveling in the motor home is by far the best way for us! (There will be more posted about our Salmon trip later.) So after a nice trip, we came home Saturday July 10, getting home just before midnight. So we spent the following morning doing nothing but emptying out and cleaning the motor home so that we could return it to Mike's house. And once it was returned, I went to work cleaning the house and cleaning and putting everything away from our trip. The boys went back to school and started swimming lessons the Monday after we got home. So we just dove head first back into our regular routine. In all, it took about 4 days before the mess was cleaned up, laundry was all done and put away, and things were somewhat back to normal. That also includes all the regular house cleaning that had to be done when we got home. The Thursday morning after we got home, our main computer crashed. It took us all day to get it up and running, and when we finally did- nothing. Everything is gone. All of our family pictures from the last 3 years have been erased. All of Cahl's and my schoolwork, all of my saved Christmas newsletters, calendars, worksheets, internet favorites, everything- is gone. The only pictures we have are the ones on my blog, facebook, and any that have been printed and scrapbooked or framed. That's it. A tiny fraction of the thousands of photos. Even as I sit here and type this, I feel like bawling my eyes out. Again. I am a huge photo taker- every game, tournament, race, scout event, holiday, anything and everything. I take dozens of pictures. And now they are gone. I took over 200 photos when we were in Salmon this year, and they are all gone. I had saved them onto the computer and then deleted them off my camera to free up room for Tristan's scout night and other upcoming events. I had sat down to post our Salmon trip several times during the few days after we got home, but I just didn't have enough time. I knew it was going to be a huge post, with tons of pictures, and I just didn't have time. After all, posting San Diego tok me 3 hours to post! So now all we have is what has been posted. The only pictures of Brinley are the ones online. But it's so few- maybe 1 picture out of every 10 I take gets posted. And so I am heartbroken. I have been sitting down here in my little dump, throwing myself a pity party for the last 2 weeks about it. I'm so angry at myself for not saving all my photos to flash drives. So stupid to keep them all on here and not have anything backed up. I even took our computer to a repair guy, and it's unfixable. It wasn't a virus that did it- he said he could have fixed that- but that the hard drive itself crashed, and when it crashed it took everything down with it. He wasn't able to salvage anything. Cahl has a friend who also does computer repair, so he said he'd look at it as well, just to be sure. I have a teeny tiny sliver of hope that maybe he'll be able to find something. But I have pretty much gotten used to the fact that all my stuff is gone, never to be seen again.

So that is the story of why I haven't posted anything in so long. I've been sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I do have more posts coming- but at least you won't have to take a prozac before reading them! I will be posting about scouts, swimming, Salmon, Brinley, and more. Just give me a few days...