Sigh

This post is not very entertaining, but since this blog is also my journal, I am writing down a lot of things on my mind.

So as I near the end of this pregnancy, I am reminded of how much I dislike the last 6-8 weeks of it. I am so uncomfortable! I am bigger now than I have ever been in my life, even with my other pregnancies. Mainly because I was about 10 pounds bigger starting this one than with all the others. So this size change is really throwing me off. I haven't given myself a pedicure in a month, and am hoping Cahl will take pity on me and help me out! Forget tying my shoes. That's a joke. I have a hard time catching my breath a lot, just going up the stairs is enough to wind me. I am so sore all the time, and most of it is the normal stretching of my body and pelvis getting ready for labor, but sometimes it is so painful. It gets really hard to walk sometimes and I wonder how on earth I am going to make it for another 6 weeks. I have never had heartburn before, and now I do- but only at night when I am exhausted and ready for bed. As for sleeping, I can't take naps now no matter how tired I am. If I do end up falling asleep, I wake up after about 20 or 30 minutes and then I am up half the night instead. I love feeling this little one moving and hiccuping, but once in a while it really sucks when she gets her feet jammed up in my ribcage! And forget trying to eat very much at a time! It feels like all my food is sitting on top of her, and there is not a lot of room left. Hunter especially is not impressed with the fact that my lap has shrunk and he hardly fits anymore. Not to mention the fact that I have to pee ALL THE TIME! At least once a night, if not 2 or even 3 times. I try to limit how much I drink in the evenings, but sometimes I am so thirsty it's ridiculous. I probably drink at least 15 glasses of water a day, and always full of ice. I LOVE eating ice when I am pregnant. So I drink tons of water in order to be able to eat the ice. What is really irritating me is that I have so much that I still want to do, but my energy is gone. I am starting to get really stressed out trying to figure out how to get it all done. Cahl and the boys are very helpful in doing the stuff I want done, but they are all so busy with work, school, and sports. I know that there is a lot I can do on my own during the days, but once again, I have no energy. We have a bunch of company coming the end of this month and into the beginning of next, and I am starting to really freak out. I usually stress out when company comes anyway, but right now, at 8 1/2 months pregnant, it is so much worse. I am really starting to dread the next month.

I HATE it that people keep asking us if we have a name picked out. The answer is yes, we are 99% sure of the name. But NO, we don't want to tell anyone. It is our decision and I don't want to tell anyone or have any one's opinion of it beforehand. We've even had people start asking the boys about it. Here's my opinion: if the parents say they don't know, don't ask the kids. Even if they know, it's not their responsibility to keep secrets. It makes them feel uncomfortable, like they are lying, and that's not fair to them.

I HATE it when people touch my stomach. I love it when Cahl does, and I wouldn't care if my very best friend did, but other than that- no thank you! I don't like to be touched very much anyway, so having someone come up and touch, feel or rub my stomach is maddening. I am also getting very sick of people asking me about the baby. Asking if this one's a girl, and when I say yes, they ask me if I'm done now. They always seem to think that I have been trying for a girl each time, which is not the case. I have been overly excited for each of my boys, and never upset about not having had a girl yet. This pregnancy wasn't a final try for a girl. Which is not to say that I am not THRILLED about the fact that I finally get one. I just didn't go into it hoping or trying for anything in particular. And yes, this is my final baby. I have been extremely blessed with my family, and I now want to sit back and focus on each of my kids as they continue to get older.